You are my friends if you do what I command.
You are my friends if you do what I command.
I felt I had no choice – because I knew by now that Christ was the ONLY hope I had of being able to cope with the dreadful, relentless situation I was in. So I said – very reluctantly, very dispassionately, very grudgingly – All right Lord, I hand my whole life over to you.
I soon discovered that this decision was very much like getting married; the full implications of this commitment would only sink in later. Because – no matter what I may have hoped would result from this – Christ wouldn’t drop His standards one bit. The Scripture He now kept confronting me with was 1 Peter
Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
“Fair go Lord – when it is it going to be MY turn? Why are you always on Bob’s side? Why don’t I mean anything at all to you? Why do I have to be the one always in the wrong, the one always having to say sorry? Why is it all right with you that this man continues to degrade and humiliate me. It’s just not fair! When will it be my turn to get some justice?”
I sobbed and sobbed. Obviously I didn’t yet have “the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight”!
And nothing seemed to change – either in Bob, or in me. And so the bitterness within me grew. And there were certain hymns I refused to singThis doctor’s compassionate advice? “Have a cup of tea before you go to bed.” Hadn’t he listened to a word I’d said? Oh – if it were only that simple! If only a cup of tea could ease the pain in my soul, the despair that was rapidly becoming my companion, the hopelessness that threatened to engulf me after years of being treated as a non-person, without rights or needs of my own!
Though I don’t have a Wholesale Jewelry China or gunshot wound my wounds run just as deep. They can’t be sewed up like a stab wound, taken out like a bullet or seen in an x-ray. They lie deep inside. And they hurt of Wholesale Jewelry China. They cause me to lay awake at nights, struggling to sleep then wake me in a state of panic. They cause me to be afraid. All of the time. And no matter how many times I tell myself “I’m safe.” “Nobody can hurt me.” They cause me to be jumpy and fearful of everyday sounds and events. They cause me to doubt myself, forget things and live a sad existence. They caused me to want to die and to act upon that want to get crystal jewelry wholesale. They caused me to end up in a psych ward. They caused me to quit my teaching job and close my business. They caused me to stop leaving my house except for doctors appointments.
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